Friends- It has finally happened.

After two years of ducking and dodging- I have the COVID. Now before you say anything- I am fully vaccinated. Since high school, I have practiced social distancing when I realized that people are generally not pleasant. I hadn’t spent much time in the grocery store since 2020 when I realized that for $9.99 and a generous tip- someone else would get your list and drop it off at your front door. My job is primarily from my home office during the winter months, and I don’t have many friends.

I was the perfect candidate for not getting COVID or the flu- ever in my lifetime.  

What I have learned in the last 34 hours is that someone, without my knowledge, bought an elephant and parked it on my chest. Paper towels are not pleasant for blowing your nose, and I have enough extra weight to sustain not eating for at least two weeks.  

I have also learned that COVID/Flu/Sinus Infection has become a political disease. PEOPLE GENERALLY FELT BAD FOR ME when I just had a Sinus Infection (before the positive test). Sinus Infections suck. However, when that positive test came back, I was questioned as if I was a terrorist breaking into the White House. 

Here are the conversations that I have had:

‘You know that this is just a play by the far left to control your life and make you do what they want you to?’

So does the far left want me to hang out in bed and watch Gilmore Girls? Because I feel like crap, and that actually sounds nice right about now!

‘Aren’t you vaccinated? So you should not have it. It must be a false positive. Suck it up.’

Well, I am not sure how things have changed. I am still doing everything around the house, just as if I am not sick. And I didn’t administer the test, test the results, or even upload the positive diagnosis. I didn’t make it a positive! I was an innocent bystander! But we can call the testing site and let them know that your Ph.D. in biochemistry through Facebook Univerity is questioning their results! 

‘You know that there is no such thing as COVID leave anymore. Since you somehow got this, you have to take your PTO to get well. If you were going to get it, you should have gotten it five months ago when it was a ‘real’ thing.

If I need to take a day off, I am a big girl and know to call in sick. 

‘You work from home, so you shouldn’t need to take anytime off. It’s not like you do a lot.’

Thank you for thinking that location is the justification for if someone ‘works’ or not. Would that make my job a’ real’ job if I had to drive to a windowless cubical office with lousy coffee and conversations?  

‘How did you get it? You don’t work in a highly contagious area like I do!’  

Well, I am not sure. I haven’t been anywhere lately because of the winter storms in Alaska- so maybe it snuck in the backdoor when I let the dogs out to pee.

‘I got tested, and I am negative. So how are you positive and we live in the same house?’  

Good question. Maybe it is because when you are home, you hide in your room or at your computer while I do the laundry, cooking, cleaning, sweeping, taking care of the pets, and everything else in-between. We haven’t physically seen each other since Christmas Eve when we opened Christmas presents. So I don’t know how your negative- I am just as mystified! 

‘Do you know that I may now have to quartine with you? That I may now get it?’

Well, that is a bummer. But, I have an idea- I will get a hotel room, pack a few clothes, my laptop, and my books and I will hideout far from you and the family. I also don’t want to be stuck in a house with you for a week with no escape.  

It seems when the diagnosis of COVID is given, that magically makes it a ‘fake’ illness, and therefore life needs to still move onward with no distractions. If you are vaccinated, the news and the government tell us we will be fine, and it is a minor thing, so we must treat it as so. 

Or, my favorite- you are treated like you did it on purpose! Like I went up to a known positive person in the Wal-Mart parking lot and asked them to sneeze on me. Or that I purposely pulled up at the local gas station next to a positive person, and we shared germs over the $3.59 per gallon unleaded fuel.

Get the heck out of here! I am mad. I am angry because I am sick and want to walk around my house like any average sick person- quietly and uninterrupted in my healing process. But, INSTEAD, I am working my ass off because somehow this is my fault, and I need to pay back everyone for my inconsideration in affecting their lives. 

This is crap. I feel like crap, and I am the one apologizing to the people in my family, making sure that their feelings and needs are being taken care of because of my mistake.  

End rant. I am exhausted now and need to shower before work realizes that I have only answered ten emails and did two reports before 8:30 am. I also need to do the dishes from last night, from the dinner I made! 

 I am such a slacker.